Carol Kroll

OCD’s Beware

I have been retiring to the studio a lot these days. This is usually the state of chaos I work in. OCD’s avert your eyes, though, in small comfort to them, I do actually have this crazy habit of having to clean up my studio before I work, then it becomes a sea of paper clippings, empty (sometimes moldy) tea cups, paint crap everywhere, water glasses, and Captain Chaos standing in the corner, tipping his hat in my general direction for a job well done.

I just got finished with a piece called “In A Perfect World” inspired by an afternoon of listening to Democracy Now while fighting the strong urge to guzzle some rat poison.

…so rather than end it so badly, I decided some acrylic paint and the cutting of old magazines would help. I uploaded it into the portfolio section (in the upper right) if you would like to have a look-see at the final. These were done on 3inch by 2inch canvas’s.

Now I have switched over to making a watercolor of a Chickadee (started and pictured above)

My art “style” has acquired a bit of ADD in recent years. I know artists need to have a definitive “style” so that everyone recognizes them and buy lots of stuff, but at what cost to you as a growing person? The old masters tried different things. That is often forgotten, I feel. And they usually never saw the fame or money of their work while they were alive either, because I surmise that is not why they were doing it.

I envy those people that can walk away from what they have created and feel JUST GREAT. I have come across, read, even met some that truly feel the power of creativity overtakes them like an epileptic fit commanded by God™ himself and are comforted by how an item now exists in the world that THEY created something that didn’t exist before. I marvel at that thought really and wonder how they got to that place.

As for me, I usually feel the “need” to make something, anxious yet soothed while I do it. I enjoy the actual “act” of creating and also happy to achieve “focus” for more than 45 min’s at a time. Then when I have finished a piece and feel “ok” about it, somehow Sir Procrastination shows up at the studio door and exclaims:

“Nothing semi-successful like this could be ever made again, making a new piece won’t feel half as satisfactory as you did while doing this one, so wait it out indefinitely until you feel you have the perfect idea or perfect technique. Proper wait for perfection is the key.”

(rather than just working and enjoying the time spent being productive)

And Sir Procrastination usually leaves me with his friend “Doctor-If-Only-You-Had” who talks about the absence of continuous work that has placated me for a good number of years.

(I really hate it when that bastard shows up.)

I have on occasion chucked pieces into the outdoor fireplace that even Sir Procrastination couldn’t talk me into keeping. And of those pieces that were burned or thrown away, I would do it all over again (and probably will in the near future)

I promised myself to have “a site” (this site) for my work because I felt it would make me “accountable” for not producing more work and shine a flash light in my procrastinating ways. And so far it has helped. I see the site has not been updated with artistic items and it aggravates me to make more.

See? Mission accomplished.

October 13, 2007 | Comments (3) | Views (319)