October 26, 2020
Today's scratch track cover is of icon Joni Mitchell's, "Big Yellow Taxi". I really love the fact that she is both a musician/singer and visual artist. For me personally, this gives me less of a "jack of all trades master of none" feeling and more of a "it is completely possible to be both".
When I make visual art, I am in a headspace and feeling of calm and silence. With singing or performing, I have go to a completely different place; one that involves confidence, self esteem and a much higher vibrational energy. And that place is not as easy for me to get to or more importantly, let go of once I'm there which tends to leave me crazed and manic even though I love it and love doing it. This song project has helped me study and wrangle these feelings and accept that this is how I operate. It's hard not to want to drink myself silly after I've had the euphoric sensation of being alive and existing in the extreme present with singing and performing. Drinking alcohol has that same effect on me which is why I think I sometimes seek it out to continue that "good feeling" and not have to endure the extreme letdown that comes with doing live forms of art. At least I'm in a place now where I can recognize this trigger and develop new, perhaps healthier, coping habits with the extreme ups and downs of the creative personality.
Please enjoy my scratch track Carolaoke version of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" for today's musical offering.