Today’s Carolaoke song offering is a Brenda Lee tune. My parents played a lot of Brenda Lee when I was growing up and I always loved singing along to her songs. I liked the challenge. And I liked her voice because it was “spunky serious”. And she was a little rocker chick. My parents always told me she was super young (12!) when she started recording which fascinated me since I was around that age. It all seemed quite exhilarating and I secretly wanted to be a part of all that. I was excited to learn that she's also only 4’9”! As a member of the 5'0" and shrinking club, that's pretty rad. At any rate, here’s my rendition of Brenda Lee’s “I’m Sorry”. It sure felt good to be able to sing at this volume today that's all I'm going to say about that.

I've also included Brenda Lee's original version of "I'm Sorry" for reference. Please enjoy!

Happy Holidays Everyone! For some reason, even though we’re all staying home and zooming with our loved ones (right? Right? RIGHT?) this season, I've noticed an angsty fervor in general coming from everyone and everything, including me. Is it because we’re all collectively losing our shit? I think the extroverts in the world are having the toughest time with this lockdown. They must feel about this lockdown how I feel about having to be at a party and mingle. Every single day, all day. For an entire year. I just had an anxiety attack thinking about that.

I’ve been giving all this a lot of thought. There are no sports, concerts, movies, restauranting etc; in person socializing of any kind right now especially at a time when we all gather together to celebrate what we celebrate. It goes against everything we’ve ever done during this time and it’s all very weird. I’m in the extreme introvert hermit category with the occasional burst of extrovert when needed - usually requiring three months to recover from (well, at least a week in complete silence.) In my 48th year around the sun, I finally understand this frustrating aspect about myself and even *I* am going a little kooky-nut-face at times. The usual outlets and coping mechanisms we turn to to release our pent-up shit has been totally cut off. And that’s dangerous. Unfortunately, the winter holidays are usually very stressful, but this year is really different and I don’t think anyone really knows what to do with all this. This is the first time EVER in all of our lifetimes that we all have had to celebrate the holidays this way and we’re all divided on what’s right or wrong these days and I think these things are definitely a large part of this overall feeling of anything but happiness. For me, it continues to be a challenge to even want to “celebrate” anything right now.

Today’s Studio Closeup is a blast from the past because I wasn’t able to get anything even remotely presentable to show you this week. I admit I got sucked into this swirling energy vortex and I’m just concentrating on keeping all my shit together.

This is a slide of artwork for the lyrics of a tune written during Sweet Jelly days entitled “Larger Than Life”. A song written about folks who make others feel small and intimidated. I wrote a lot of songs while working in a corporate setting during this time. It feels like 12 lifetimes ago when I revisit all of this. Very surreal at the very least. You will hear Lance Dobersek’s beautiful guitar work on this tune. My singing is, uh, I’d rather not have anyone hear it but it’s all about the journey! And let’s keep in mind these were recorded at practices mainly for us all to listen to getting ready for a live gig. It was also the super early days in our tiny rock world. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

Speaking of extrovert/introvert matters, in-between sets, I remember Aaron, Lance and I would scatter into opposite dark corners of the bars that we would play at during the set break, keeping a low profile hoping nobody would talk to us. Chad and Rob were usually really good at mingling. But I liken the three of us to androids powering down. I love singing and performing because you truly are in the moment of creating something, but that is also a complete overload for me and I'd rather play for 2-4 hours straight than take an intermission and have to get back to the place I was finally at at the end of the first set. Maybe that’s just me. 5-10 minutes to starting the second set, we’d all quietly gather at one table and get ready to pour it on again. Not sure how other bands take a break, but that’s how a band of visual artists do it. Quiet and stealthy-like.

Below, please enjoy a little bit of SWJ history between song and visual art. I’ve also included a quick snap of Aaron Johnson’s beautiful sheet music he assembled for all of us way back when.

And I really do hope everyone finds some peace this holiday season. Please keep well and stay strong everyone.

Song: Larger Than Life ~ Sweet Jelly 2001

Happy Winter Solstice Everyone! This is the winter holiday I personally choose to celebrate. I love winter and I love Christmastime. This is the time of year where I start to feel like my old self again. I know how I feel about winter in Wisconsin is not popular around here at all, but we have four seasons so everyone gets to be happy at some point in time. Lots of advantages in winter: no bugs, no humidity, and it’s finally quiet and still outside. I grew up loving this time of year and it was really strange in 2018 and 2019 to feel nothing for it. As we all know, the flood claimed all of my Christmas decorations. I know they’re just things, but those things had a lot of good memories attached them and it's hard to want to start all over again. I'm working on it all.

Then in October of 2019, our beloved 15 year old black lab, LuLu, passed away and as a result of it all, I sort of shut all the way down.

In terms of enjoying this time of year, 2020 has been a lot better than the past two years for me for which I am very grateful for. I bring all this up as a little background for today’s Carolaoke Holiday offering. Last year, after Christmas was done and New Year's was yet to be, I peeked out for a tiny bit trying to find some, any, holiday spirit and stumbled upon Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton’s Christmas duet on YouTube, which I’ve included below. I can't get enough of Blake Shelton’s facial expressions and reactions in this video and their infectious joy while singing this song sort of snapped me out of my emotional coma for a few seconds. For a fleeting moment, I felt how I used to feel about this time of year. So really Gwen and Blake, Thank YOU!

A special note - this karaoke track had no backing vocals or harmonies in it so you get just me again, I'm afraid.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there are plans for Filet Mignon, Grilled Shrimp, Winter Solstice Latkes and a fire this evening that I need to get into. Please enjoy and I hope this finds you happy, healthy and in good cheer!

In Chicago a while back, I had an encounter with a successful woman artist who was in her 80’s while at a fancy rooftop party. I loved talking to her. She was living and working in a Chicago warehouse loft space and what she described of it to me, it seemed like my perfect dream of dreams. I had a great conversation with her until she started asking about my work and myself. At the time, I was doing realistic drawings and watercolors of birds and fruit because, honestly, that’s what sells. She seemed pleasantly surprised after seeing my work and then the question of who were my art influences came up. When I told her who my number one major influence has been, she gave me a stern look. I went on to tell her that Joseph Cornell has been THE main one since art school - art school where I was a Drawing Major. She didn’t say anything but just had this terrible look on her face so I continued because, well, she asked.

“...…Sandy Skoglund......Alexis Smith.…..”

And she stopped me and said “Why…that’s absurd! Those are Sculpture influences! Not Drawing Major influences.” She then got up and left to go mingle because she was done with my nonsense. I’m so glad I didn’t tell her I wanted to be an animator once upon a time. I can’t even imagine what her reaction would have been.

Joseph Cornell himself was a very interesting guy. He lived in NYC with his mother and brother his whole life and never traveled elsewhere. He was a hermit and extreme introvert but every day he’d go to the same Wolworth’s food counter and have a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Every. Day. Sadly, I must admit I admire that dedication and focus. At the same time however, I also could imagine myself doing the same exact thing just adding a vanilla malt and some fries.

The reason he started making those bizarre pieces was to entertain his mentally impaired brother and considered his art as “toys”. So when that artist lady disapproved of MY influences, I was truly hurt and bewildered at her reaction. Cornell’s design, composition and use of color in his pieces are impeccable not to mention the concepts and narratives of most of his pieces are often mind-blowing. And those things are important when one is making art so I was confused that if she was such and old sage of the art world, why she didn’t at least mention those factors about the people I was listing off as my influences? Art is art. You like what you like for your own personal reasons. If it inspires you, that’s the only thing that matters. Truly.

Today’s studio closeup is part of The Museum Series and unlike last week, I’m considering this piece finished. I made the diorama itself in 2016 and it’s always hard looking at “old” work without being brutal to yourself about its production, but I’m getting better at realizing this is all a learning process.

Title: The Museum Series - Bobolink
Year: 2020
Media: Acrylic Paint, Paper Diorama, Wood Panel
Total Dimension: 6” x 6”

Happy Music Monday everyone! Today calls for a holiday song. Kirsty MaCcoll is a major musical superhero of mine and has been for a very long time. The album she recorded before her abrupt and tragic death in December 2000 "Tropical Brainstorm" is a work of art. She writes snarky lyrics and that was the first time I really heard a woman speaking her mind in a song in a very honest and very funny way. Her voice is so sweet but the lyrics she wrote and is singing are anything but. Listen to the album "Tropical Brainstorm" by the late Kirsty MacColl. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

For today’s tune, I posted a music video reference of the original song because I might know the song - but you may not - so perhaps a reference will help. Special note: Kirsty’s hairstyle in this video was the exact same hairstyle I had in the late 80’s early 90’s; huge bow and all. Due to the amount of Aqua-Net I used back then, that hole in the ozone is probably my fault solely. It took me a long time to assemble that “hairstyle" - like building a house of cards every single day. It really was a terrible hairstyle. WAY too much upkeep and forget about swimming.

There were no vocals included in this karaoke track, so it’s all me. I've always loved the strong contrasty difference between Kirsty’s vocals and Shane MacGowan’s vocals but I think that's the point. It would have been nice to have Shane MacGowan on deck to help with the male vocal parts but I’m assuming he has much better things to do so you get me and the monotony of one singer doing all the parts. Please enjoy my version of The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl's “Fairytale of New York” - a Christmas favorite for the bitter and jaded.