Whoooooooo boy, spring is currently kicking my ass mentally and emotionally. It’s a hard thing to try to explain that early spring is incredibly dicey for me especially while everyone else in the sane world is ecstatic about its arrival. The best way I can describe it is that everything suddenly gets VERY LOUD which also includes the GLARING SUNLIGHT and it's somewhat painful. Migraines revisit again due to the barometric pressure, mania revisits which sounds productive, but isn’t - it feels like I have seasonal depression in reverse and I’ve noticed it gets a little more difficult each year as I get older. At least I now know this is what happens every March-April and can try to thwart it with better coping mechanisms than I have in the past, but those new coping mechanisms are really being tested this week. Really. Being. Tested. I’ve needed to lay low and have things dark and silent right now for however long this lasts for me this season.

Today’s studio closeup is a past work that unfortunately perished in the 2018 flood. Speaking of which, the flood PTSD has crept back in again and I know that’s not helping my general uneasiness lately. Spring equals rain so I’m sure you can imagine anxiety is pretty high. So instead of being angry with myself about all this, I’m trying a different approach this year and working on being kind and patient with myself. A good question to ask yourself is, “Would you talk to a friend the same way your internal dialogue is rolling along?” Yeah. Ouch.

Please enjoy this work from the past! Stay safe and please keep well.

Title: Contest
Year: 2001
Media: Acrylic and Collage on Canvas Board
Total Dimension: 6.5” x 8.5”

Music Monday's Carolaoke Song #29 is my scratch track version of Brenda Lee's "All Alone Am I". I used to hear this tune being played at the restaurant I worked in and I'd often go into the walk-in freezer to belt it out because I couldn't contain myself properly on the floor. Although, the thought had crossed my mind to deliver customer's food while singing this, but I played it out in my head and realized that's just weird and super creepy and would I like that? NOPE. A walk-in freezer is a great venue just in case anyone was wondering out there. Very private, perfect temperature especially in July. Please enjoy!

Welcome to another Freaky Friday here at carolkroll.com. This past week I had a chance to make two cards for my Bird People Tarot Deck. A special note about the Five of Cups art: those are supposed to be long tube-like retro cocktail glasses with straws in them but I’m still not convinced this is the way to go. I may have to switch to a goblet or something for it to be more recognizable as a “cup”. I’m really fighting the urge to throw it away completely right now. That may happen at a later date, but for now, I’ll keep it and take a look at it again in the future and decide. I need to have up to ten cups inside these cards, and it’s a skinny shape that will accommodate that, so I may end up keeping the retro glassware in the end. I’m so completely undecided right now. Luckily, there are 60+ other cards I need to focus on making so I’m going to stop obsessing about it for now and obsess about other things. Have a great weekend! Please keep safe and well.

Upright Meanings:
Loss
Sacrifice
Regret
Tradition
Quarrels
Reversed Meanings:
Hopeful outlook
Invitations
Reunion
False projects
Beneficial friends

Upright Meanings:
Gossip
High productivity
Negotiation
Victory through hard effort
Meetings
Reversed Meanings:
Indecision
Doubt
Embarrassment
Excess
Uncertainty

Sometimes I like doing just straight up collages. These are a few I did back in 2012 that sort of jump started the diorama making for The Museum Series. Lots of new work currently in progress and that’s where I got lost today which was a really good thing for me. Please enjoy some oldies but goodies!

It’s another Music Monday over here at carolkroll.com! I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Yes, I can tell spring is in the air. Early spring is not my favorite season. I usually get migraines, can feel everyone bursting at the seams to wear no clothes outside, and I personally have to stifle or channel the mania I feel welling up all through March and April in a productive way or it won’t be a good scene. These are things I’ve learned (the hard way) on this journey.

Speaking of spring, today’s Carolaoke selection is a song I used to have on repeat while I’d ride my bike during the sunrise. I couldn’t get enough of it. Or sunrises. This year, I have big plans for my bike come (real) spring. That’s all anyone needs to know right now including myself.

The bah-bah-bah harmony towards the end really bothers me in this karaoke track, but I didn’t feel like reinventing the wheel today to fix it. Someone is singing an anti-harmony inside that harmony. I hear it and it bothers me to my core. Speaking of me, this song is at the very bottom of my range and I know I have some more work to do vocally with this tune. But scratch tracks are like gesture drawings, quick snapshots of where you're currently at, and you only get better by doing more of them.

Please enjoy my scratch track version of the Plain White T’s, “Rhythm of Love”.