Today's scratch track cover is of icon Joni Mitchell's, "Big Yellow Taxi". I really love the fact that she is both a musician/singer and visual artist. For me personally, this gives me less of a "jack of all trades master of none" feeling and more of a "it is completely possible to be both".

When I make visual art, I am in a headspace and feeling of calm and silence. With singing or performing, I have go to a completely different place; one that involves confidence, self esteem and a much higher vibrational energy. And that place is not as easy for me to get to or more importantly, let go of once I'm there which tends to leave me crazed and manic even though I love it and love doing it. This song project has helped me study and wrangle these feelings and accept that this is how I operate. It's hard not to want to drink myself silly after I've had the euphoric sensation of being alive and existing in the extreme present with singing and performing. Drinking alcohol has that same effect on me which is why I think I sometimes seek it out to continue that "good feeling" and not have to endure the extreme letdown that comes with doing live forms of art. At least I'm in a place now where I can recognize this trigger and develop new, perhaps healthier, coping habits with the extreme ups and downs of the creative personality.

Please enjoy my scratch track Carolaoke version of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" for today's musical offering.

Important Announcement: I can now scan in slides! Yes, I said scan. An old school scanner and some film are making this happen to appear on the internet. This opens up a whole ‘nother world for future postings here on carolkroll.com. That’s all I’m gonna say for now.

Today’s Studio Closeup #12 refers to last week’s post about art that was shown in NYC in 1998, but also perished in 2018's flood. Looking through my slides this week, I found the piece that also attended that 1998 show. Unfortunately I did not take any closeup slides of the individual panels that make up this triptych so it's hard to see the details. Did I title the slide? No, so I do not have a title or dimensions on this one I'm afraid. What I "can" tell you, however, is that this was the first piece I did about the drawbacks and perils of drinking. I also know that this triptych was in the show Morgyn and I had at her warehouse in 2000. I’ve included some photos of the two of us from that show and as you can see, good, good times.

The one cool thing I hadn't considered when I embarked on The Carolaoke Collection [let's call it that] is getting to really "hear" the music being played by the musicians in these karaoke versions. I really noticed the instrumentation going on within June Carter Cash's, "Jukebox Blues" when I was singing to it and it's fantastic. Please enjoy my scratch track version of this lovely lady's music.

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that these last couple of weeks have been brutal on the heart, soul and mind. I’ve had trouble “getting it together” and focusing. The outside world certainly isn’t helping and it’s (always) hard to stay motivated. I am now just starting to recognize that when I start feeling like this, it’s time to unplug, run down the rabbit hole and get back to center.

Despite the noise in my head, I have been working on several pieces that still have a ways to go; I’m trying not to nag and berate myself about it BUT THAT IS SO HARD TO DO. And sometimes I don’t want to do the inner work to get where I need to be. And then I slip into old coping mechanisms and before I know it, it’s Wednesday again and I have to post a studio closeup. Speaking of that (deadlines), I’m also learning that art is a creative process and sometimes linear time and deadlines don’t make sense in that world. Creativity doesn’t care what day it is because it’s a feeling and everyone knows how fleeting feeling is. Add that I’m newly getting acquainted with my feelings after so many years of trying to ignore them, well, you can imagine it gets overwhelming sometimes.

So for today’s offering I post a little something from the time capsule section. I entered this piece (and another triptych) into a juried competition I saw being advertised in the back of Art In America magazine and was my first glorious experience of showing my work in SoHo, New York. Especially given that at the time I was starting to paint in a way I never had before and was leery of its outcome and reception.

Speaking of reception, I was able to attend the opening of this show in SoHo in person(!) - my first time ever in NYC, a place every artist dreams of with the additional euphoria of having my artwork hanging on a wall in SoHo. It was just an incredible experience that I certainly will never forget.

The triptych that was also in that show, perished in the flood, I’m afraid. I do have slides of it however! And I am looking into how to make slide film magically appear on the interwebs, so please stay tuned.

Title: Tricky Decision - Diptych
Year: 1998
Media: Acrylic Paint, Paper Collage & Canvas Board
Total Dimension: 5.5” x 15.5”

Today I present to you my scratch track version of Patsy Cline's "She's Got You".

I'm all tapped out for stories today but what I can tell you is that I plan on visiting other female vocal biggies from this era in my magical musical covers project.

Please enjoy.